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Are mentors essential? Yes. For entrepreneurs, that’s the secret weapon. But how exactly do you get people to mentor you? Is it as simple as going up to someone you admire and saying “Will you mentor me?” Chances are, the people that you want to mentor you won’t have time. So then, how do get you get them to?

Why It’s Needed

I feel like we need to establish very quickly why mentors are crucial to an entrepreneur’s success. Talk to any successful entrepreneur and they will tell you they have mentors. Bill Gates had his parents, but also Warren Buffet. Mark Zuckerberg had Sean Parker in the early beginnings of Facebook.

Mentors can show you the error of your ways (because you are not always right)!

How A Real Mentoring Relationship Develops

You have to think of a mentoring relationship like any other relationship. It starts out with name and introduction, then small talk, then coffee and more small talk, followed by the occasion big talk, followed by them liking you, followed by dating, etc. It’s very much like that because it’s a long-term view. Mentors are usually good a good friend of yours because they spend time with you.

What It Looks Like

I also have a business mentor, someone who is not in the same industry. But he’s been given me very valuable advice over the years. I first met this person almost 4 years ago now. It was at a business seminar and I casually introduced the idea I was working on. He was intrigued so we started talking. Over the next few months, I emailed him with questions and to bounce ideas off of him.

Within a year, 2 of my friends and I started working on this project. The entire time, we kept in communication with my mentor, then just a friend. But we asked him questions whenever we were stuck. A year later, the project did not work out and we all went our separate ways. I stayed in touch with my mentor. I was just seeking more opportunities to grow as an entrepreneur so we had frequent conversations. So we became friends.

A year later, I had a new idea- TeenBusinessForum. Again, I bounced ideas off of him. It took 6 months before he saw how much impact it was going to have. We were meeting almost every 2 weeks to discuss how the website was going. He actually gave me the idea of holding a global teen entrepreneurship conference.

The relationship just evolved into a mentoring one. At no point did we say “ok you’re my mentor”. It was basically unspoken.

How To Get It

Not everyone you think you want to mentor you will be a good fit. Here are some steps to find a mentor that fits you:

• Figure out what characteristics are important to you
• Make sure their beliefs are aligned with yours (this is very important)
• A mentor doesn’t have to be in the same field as you
• Plant a lot of seeds. Get to know many people so you can find a good fit
• Offer to buy the people you want to meet lunch or at least coffee. Show them you value their time
• Have a long-term view
• Ask yourself “Could I spend a whole day in a room with this person?”
• Don’t just look at someone as a mentor because they have celebrity status